Reverse Sexism in American Churches

According to Wikipedia, “reverse sexism” is defined as follows:

“Reverse sexism is sexism directed towards men and boys. This form of sexism includes any form of prejudice or discrimination against men and boys. This can include stereotyping that may negatively impact men.”

Without knowing there was a term for it, the concept has been on my mind for a long time, particularly in the context of American churches.

Why does it seem like every Mother’s Day sermon I have ever heard sounds so different from every Father’s Day sermon I have ever heard?

Mothers and wives do it all. They are so important and we just don’t value or thank them enough. Proverbs 31 is an idealized image of perfection, and we should not ask women to aspire to this unrealistic goal per se. Buy them flowers and candy and tell them how beautiful they are as daughters of the King.

That is how Mother’s Day sermons and all the teaching I have ever heard about women goes.

Fathers and husbands, on the other hand, are also so important. But we are failing. Everything is our fault – on the micro and macro levels. Men need to step up and do better. We aren’t loving our wives and children like Christ loved and loves the Church, laying his life down for her. Prisons are full of boys who grew up without a father in the home. 

That is how all the Father’s Day sermons I have heard in my life play out.

A YouTube video of Paul Washer speaking on Marriage, Family and Parenting at the 2021 Fellowship Conference was sent to me this week, and I watched it. And though there is plenty of truth to what Washer shared, and he doubtless is a God-fearing man who loves the Church and his family and means well, I think there is a lot here that confirms my concerns about reverse sexism in American churches.

The error – if indeed this is an error which has crept unnoticed into our theology, teaching, and discipleship – is not conscious, I don’t think. We all are like so many fish in water who don’t know we’re wet.

But if there is a better understanding that can be had for the Biblical roles of men and women in the home, we ought not to content ourselves that no temptation has seized us except what is common to man. (1 Corinthians 10:13) 

Instead, we really need to grapple with the apparent double standard in the way these things are thought, felt, spoken, and taught about – particularly from the pulpit and in the home.

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